Gulf Coast Hash House Harriers
Hash Cash is $7, unless it isn't.
Flip Your Sister, Hash #??? - POSTBONED
Time: TBD - POSTBONED
Hares: Can I Fuck Your Sister and Flippy Cock - POSTBONED
Where: TBD - POSTBONED
Etta's Holiday Surprise, Hash #658
Date: December 5th
Time: Meet at 12:30, Hares away 1:00
Hares: Etta Jameson and Cocktimus Primer
Where: Walmart parking lot, 6575 Airport Blvd
'Twas 3 weeks before Christmas and all through Mobile
Only hashers were stirring and throwing cornmeal
The hash socks were hung near the campfire with care
In hopes that Etta and Primer, soon would be there
Tater was pissing all over Skid Marks geraniums
While visions of beer danced in hashers' craniums
And Lubi in her tracksuit, Purple Vein in his kilt
Were singing a song about a city once built
When outside the circle there arose such a clatter
They jumped up and Lubi shouted, "My champagne, it did splatter!"
Away to the cooler, they did run in a flash
Threw aside a bike they did use for a bash
They saw objects afar that looked just like moons
And when finally solved it, they all shouted "BOONES!"
Then what did their wondering eyes did then show
But a pimped out 1970s El Camino
With two hashers so clever, so devious, so hyper
They knew in a moment it must be Etta and Primer
More rapid than DFLs these hares they then came
And they whistle and shouted, and called them by name
"Now, Enzyte, now, Shiggy, now, Mauler and Sister!
On, Ginga, On, Finn, On Banger and Fister!
To the top of the hill, to the top of the wall!
Now hash away! Hash away! Hash away all!"
As leaves that before a wild hurricane hit
When they met with an obstacle, and then shouted "Oh, Shit!"
So up to the circle of hashers they flew
With a bed full of beer, Etta and Primer too
And then a buzzing they heard 'round their ears
Let them know, the mosquitoes were here
They swatted and ran with no peace to be found
Note to self: Keep your bug spray around
They noticed hashers dressed all in hash gear so clean and so good
Not knowing that soon, they'd be covered in mud
The bundle of gifts, they had in their sack
Would make it interesting to stay ahead of the pack
Their eyes were all bloodshot, their words all slurry
The hares said we'd better get started in a hurry
Etta's lips then parted and she gave a shout
"Circle up, you Fuckers! Or there'll be a Jameson drought!"
The hashers then quieted, though not fully silently
Some of them may have mumble, "Ah, bite us."
Lubi called forth the hares then to bless us
And asked if there were any special instructions
There are boob checks, intersections, rocket checks galore
On the foot, present checks, and still there were more!
With a roll of her eyes and a sprinkle of beer
Off to the trail only virgins should fear
They spoke not a word and went straight to their work
Carrying all the gift bags, one for Sowee, the jerk
And laying their flour along as they went
Giving a nod as they turned toward a ditch
They sprang toward their ride, to the kennel gave a whistle
On-on! They did yell as they raced into the thistle
And they heard it exclaimed as the hares got their start,
"Happy Hashing to all, come and catch us, you Farts!"
Christmas Pajama Party
Date: December 12
Twelve Days of Hashmus, Hash #659 , The Absolutely, Positively, last time Rim Job will do this
Date: Dec. 19th
New Year's Hangover Hash/ Lubi's Birthday Hash, Hash #660
Date: Jan. 1st
First Light Marathon Red Dress Water Stop
Date: Jan 10
Date: Jan. 16th
Hares: Ginga Bite-us and Butthole Berry Finn
Date: Jan. 30th
Hares: Seizure and Primer (Blue Lingerie?)
Joe Cain Cookout
Date: Feb 7th
Jello Love, Hash #663
Date: Feb 13th
Hares: Eunix, Twinkle Twat, and Etta
Date: Feb 27th