Shore excursions. The hash cruise is designed to let you do whatever you want in port. Carnival will have lots of shore excursion options (see carnival.com) but I also want to recommend shoretrips.com. We've been using them for quite some time with good results. It's a lot of the same excursions the cruise line offers, but the price is a little lower. The best thing is, you go in a small group with others who signed up on shoretrips.com instead of being herded in the large group from the cruise ship tour.

As I mentioned before, we will be offering a hash and beach party in Progreso as part of the cruise package. If you'd rather go explore some Mayan ruins, that's cool (more beer for us). Chitzen-Itza is probably the most famous of the ruins and if you're a history buff and want to do that, let me know and I'll see about arranging a private tour just for hashers through shoretrips.com. If we get 10 or 12 to go, it's very reasonable ($81.30 pp for a group of 10, $71.34 pp for a group of 12). Otherwise, you can go with the cruise ship crowd on the bus if we don't get enough hasher interest.

Looking at shore excursions in Cozumel, Mutha and I are skipping the dive trip this year. We're going to do the Dune Buggy Safari. This should be a lot of fun AND they give us beer (doesn't say how much though). I've already set up a group on shoretrips.com. Click on Groups at the top and scroll down to the H3 group. You can sign up there if you want to go with us. If you'd rather do a dive trip or some other tour they offer, let me know and I'll add that tour to our group so other hashers can join you.
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I've got very good news about the hash hotel. It's the same one that's been so good to us in the past, the Holiday Inn Superdome. They've got a special cruise package that is quite awesome that they are making available to us. Check this out:

Rooms are $99 + tax (same as they were 3 years ago)
Includes Breakfast
Includes transfer to the ship (if you're going back to the hotel after the cruise you'll need to taxi it)
You can keep your car at the hotel during the cruise for $5 per day (+ tax) (It's $14 per day at the pier)

To reserve a room, call 800-535-7830 and make sure you're talking to in-house reservations to get this package. Tell them you're with the "H3" group (or "Hash House Harriers"). You can also call 504-535-7830. This deal is for Halloween night only. If you want to show up earlier, let me know and I'll see if we can get the same deal. For those that want to stay after the cruise, it's going to be a bit tricky. There is a HUGE conference in town that week and finding a room may be difficult. If you have the option, plan to spend your New Orleans touring time BEFORE the cruise.

Open Bar!!!  We are now going to have an open bar for the cruise! With your open bar beverage card, you can  order unlimited beer -
- All domestics plus Corona, Heineken, Amstel Light, Pilsner Urquell, Labatt Blue, Red Stripe, Beck's, Stella Artois, Corona Light , Bass Ale, Boddingtons, Grolsch 16 oz, Guiness Pub Draught, Foster's Lager 750ml -
plus most liquors and martinis (except the really high end stuff), most wines and champagnes, a selection of bottled wines with dinner, and all frozen drinks (except for the souvenier glass) and wine coolers. Plus unlimited bottled water (regular size, not the really big ones) and sodas.

Please note:

The maximum drink price for the card is $7.50. The card can only be used in the bars (no in-room, coffee shop or gift shop purchases). However, you can use it in the dining room for the bar service. It will not be accepted in the specialty supper club if you eat there. If you accidentally use your regular sign and sail card for your drink purchase, they can't transfer it over to your beverage card so pay attention!

BE WARNED! If you become obnoxiously intoxicated (you are hashers after all) or are caught using your beverage card to buy drinks for anyone else that does not have a card, your card will be confiscated and you will not be given a refund for the value of the card for rest of the sailing. NO WHINING TO BABE OR MUTHA if this happens to you. So, look out for your fellow hashers and reel them in if they start making a scene.

Welcome aboard Babe Thruster's Hash Cruise! This guide will be revised from time to time as new questions arise. With your tickets, you will get Carnival's "Know Before You Go" booklet which will explain some of this stuff in greater detail. However, this guide will be geared towards the special interests of hashers. For example, item #1 (in all of our hearts and livers) is.....

**Note: The open bar program replaces the advice below**

Drinking- First and foremost, you must realize that we are going to places where beer may be expensive and liquor is cheap (and portable). Now, I'm addressing hashers like myself who are financially challenged. Hashers with an abundance of wealth can skip this section and compete for the honor of the highest bar tab at the end of the cruise if they want to. For the rest of us, it's like this.
As a seller of Carnival cruises, I must first point out that bringing alcohol on board is against the rules. I know I have nothing to worry about with this group because hashers are known for following rules. But I must warn you. You may encounter other people who may break this rule. For educational purposes only, here's what I've heard less honorable travel agents have actually advised:

All alcohol on board the ship is sold at typical bar prices. There are a few exceptions such as the free champagne and fufu cocktails at the captain's cocktail party and past guest party which we certainly will attend. A free drink is a free drink. So to avoid a hefty bar tab, bring your own. You can bring beer if you want to, but it's heavy and needs to be kept on ice. There are no refrigerators in the cabin, but your cheerful cabin steward will bring ice to your cabin upon request. It is much easier to bring liquor on board. You're in the tropics (sort of) so just get into that Jimmy Buffett rum drinks mind set. You'll want to carefully pack the liquor in one of your bags that you are checking to you cabin. Your carry-ons will be scanned by security before boarding and any liquor found will not be allowed through. I have never heard of anyone being turned in by their cabin steward for having liquor in their cabin (they would rather have their tip at the end of the cruise). So don't worry about hiding the bottles in the cabin too much.
Mixers are also bulky and heavy. I recommend taking maybe a two liter bottle (at the most) of your favorite mixer in your luggage. Then just pack several packages of Crystal Light lemonade (or other powdered mix) and make up your mixer as you need it in the bottle.
So now you can mix drinks in your cabin at your leisure. Remember to keep any liquor bottles hidden from security when walking around the ship or risk having it taken away until the end of the cruise. Some beer will be provided at the end of the hash but you will need to bring money for the bar if you want to continue partying on the beach. More on the hash later.

On a related note, cheap tax-free liquor is available for purchase on the ship. Most everyone will be buying it because it tends to be quite a bit cheaper than your local liquor store (check your prices before you leave to compare and remember that the ship sells it's liquor in 1 liter bottles mostly). As you might have guessed, you cannot take this liquor back to the cabin with you. It will be brought to your cabin on the last night of the cruise.
Just be prepared to haul a couple of bottles around with you on your return trip home. If you have long flight connections you may question yourself if the savings was worth the sore shoulders by the time you get home. It's best to carefully pack this in your luggage, replacing what you drank on the cruise. You are supposed to pay taxes on anything over two bottles purchased, but you can usually get by with packing a couple of bottles and then hand-carrying off the two bottles you declared on your customs form. If you don't want to risk being caught smuggling liquor into the country, you can go ahead and claim all the liquor you've purchased and pay the taxes on it. I think it's around 10% but still much cheaper than local US prices.
There will also be good prices on liquor in Mexico (although the ship prices are usually slightly lower). You can attempt to buy liquor in Mexico but be warned that the security guards will be on the lookout when you board the ship. So hide it well wrapped up in your towel or whatever. If they find it, they will insist on holding it until the end of the cruise. You can't always count on having cool security guards like we did on the last Nassau hash cruise that let us bring a large garbage bag of leftover hash beer on the ship with us.

Eating - One thing is for sure on a cruise. You will never go hungry. You'll have your choice of seated breakfast and lunches (if you enjoy being served) or just hitting a buffet (if you want it quick). We will have dinner in the dining room every night as a group. If you don't want to dress up, there will be a buffet available elsewhere. There is also 24 hour pizza and (free) room service available offering basic sandwiches and stuff. At dinner, remember that you can order as much of anything as you want. Can't decide between steak and lobster? Order both. As the old cruise joke goes, you board the ship as passengers and leave as cargo.

Dressing - It's pretty much casual stuff all day plus whatever you want to hash in. There will be one formal dinner that will require coat and tie/cocktail dress in the dining room and Captain's cocktail party if you want to attend. Otherwise, it's just no shorts or T-shirts in the dining room. As per hash cruise tradition, no underwear is allowed at dinner. Which brings us to....

Packing - During the day it'll be your basic poolside casual. There will be one hash run (walk) where you may (or may not) want to bring running clothes. It may be cool when we leave or get back to New Orleans, so toss in a sweatshirt or jacket. For formal night, Khakis, tie and blazer or suit or tux. Whatever floats your boat. Cocktail dress or the like for the hariettes. Hawaiian shirt for Saturday night and, of course, the red dress for Wednesday night's pub crawl and dinner. Guys, don't forget to bring some type of wrap if you have a sexy, sleeveless dress. Mutha doesn't want to see any hairy armpits at dinner. Other than that, just your basic fun beach stuff (hats, sunscreen, sunglasses, book), you hash mug or sipper cup (large sized to avoid cabin trip refills), camera (with hasher discretion), cash (or traveler's checks) and/or a big credit limit on your card. Have I mentioned passports or birth certificates yet? The Fantasy has laundry facilities with an ironing board, but we like to pack our travel iron as a backup. There are no hair dryers in the cabins so bring your own if you need one. Also, see the drinking section about packing beverages.

Tipping- It looks like Carnival has recently changed it's cash-at-the-end-of-the-cruise tipping system. Carnival has now started charging your tips to your charge account. The upside is that you don't have to stash away a cash reserve for tips. The downside is that if you want to tip higher or lower than the $10.00 per person per day rate (this covers your cabin steward, waiter and bus boy), you have to go by the purser's desk and make the adjustment.

General Partying - Although the ships of Carnival are called the "Fun Ships" they still manage to attract civilians who are not much fun, go to bed early and complain to security for the stupidest reasons. So please adhere to some guidelines to keep out of trouble, the brig, and walking the plank. For the most part, it's the same stuff you'd expect if we were staying in a hotel. Cabin parties usually form when a few people go down to their cabin to mix a drink and someone else stops by and so on. Still there may be a family down the hall that won't really enjoy hearing the "S&M Man" song at 3:00 in the morning. Cabin parties towards the center of the ship must be kept reasonably quiet. Otherwise, someone might call Mr. Security who will make us to take the party upstairs in the lounges (which is where all the entertainment is anyway). Try to avoid yelling in the hallways at night. Bottom line: If you want to have a party, the best bet is to take it up to the topless deck or one of the lounges upstairs.

Getting there - For those flying in the day of the cruise, Carnival will have bus transfers available to the pier for $23 each way (last time I checked). You can purchase this from a Carnival rep located somewhere in the bag claim area. You can also check with Super Shuttle or a cab which may be cheaper and quicker if you're travelling with others. Transfers from the pier to the airport can be purchased at any time on the cruise from the purser's desk.

Checking in - Yet another reminder: Don't forget your passport or certified birth certificate and photo ID! When you pull in to the terminal area, you will see the places where you drop of your checked bags. Just make sure you have the bag tags on them with your cabin number. There will also be porters there to assist, so be ready to tip 'em a buck a bag if you want to. They will have luggage tags and a rooming list for those that don't know their cabin assignments yet. Your bags will later appear outside your cabin door. Since it may be a couple of hours before your bags are delivered, be sure to pack any medications, swimsuits, sex toys, etc. in your carry-on that you may want or need shortly after you get on the ship.

Spending Money - When you check in, you will set up your "Sign & Sail" account. This is usually done with a credit card but you can also set it up with a cash deposit. The only drawback to the cash system is that you will have to stand in line at the end of the cruise to settle your account whereas, if everything is correct on your bill, the credit card is simply charged for the final amount. The only place on the ship you will ever need cash is in the casino. Everything else including drinks, shore excursions, shopping, massages, etc. will be charged to your account. On the last night of the cruise, you will get a statement showing all of your charges. There will be an ATM on board if you need it. It's not a bad idea to carry traveler's checks around Mexico instead of cash.

The Dreaded Lifeboat Drill - This is the biggest pain in the ass but the Coast Guard requires it. Just so you'll know, sometime before we leave port, we will all have to go to our cabins, put on these oversized, bulky neck braces they call life vests and report to our muster stations. They won't even let you take your drink with you (although you can try). Then you sit around for a while losing your buzz while someone does a roll call. Perhaps to make this all more bearable, we should all do a good shooter at the sound of the alarm.

Onboard fun - Each evening, you'll get a program of the next day's activities and shows. You're on vacation so do whatever you want. Chances are, there will be other hashers there doing the same. Carnival does have the best entertainment in the cruise industry and I recommend going to the shows. Particularly the ones with the skimpy, sexy costumes (which is why I like to sit close to the stage). Also, the late-night comedians are a good bet. In fact, the late-night on-board hash will probably be scheduled to allow us to go to this show. Also, look for hashers throwing wrenches in the works of other games and contests throughout the cruise.

Leaving - The last day can be tough due to your hangover and lack of sleep so be prepared. On our last night, you will get some bag tags and custom forms in your cabin. Go ahead and fill out the customs form so you won't have to do it the next morning. You will pack all your checked bags on Wednesday night and leave them outside the door to be picked up by the porters. Make sure that you keep some clothes for Thursday morning so you don't have to walk off your ship in your sleepwear (which is particularly embarrassing for those of us who don't bother with sleepwear). Make sure your carry-on (carry-off?) bags will fit everything still left in you cabin. Update: Carnival now has a self-assist option where you can keep all your bags and haul them off yourself. We tried it and didn't like it. You end up in a hallway with all these other people dragging all these bags and liquor boxes and other souveniers off the ship. It does get you off the ship quicker but the cattle call and luggage traffic jam sucks a bit.
On Thursday morning, there will be a breakfast for those able to get up in time for it. You will hear announcements asking you to vacate your cabin and go hang out in one of the public areas. Ignore this if you want. There will be plenty of civilians that will actually do this giving the staff plenty of other cabins to clean before they start pressuring you to leave so don't feel rushed. Do not wait in the halls with the rest of the cattle waiting for disembarkation to start unless you enjoy crowds and boredom. Hang in your cabin or head up to the pool and lounge in the morning sun if you want. Relax and read a book or play cards. When your number bag tag is called, wait a few minutes for the mob to clear before heading for the door.

Most of all, have fun. If you have any questions or concerns on board, find Mutha Superior. She is in charge of all of you. Don't bother finding me, I'll be on vacation and don't want to hear any whining about lost cameras, sunburn, or cabinmates that monopolize the bathroom.

Babe Thruster

Babe's Hash Cruise Survival Guide